Mathematics is not what more than 99% of "Mathematics Teachers" teach. Most of us have encountered very little actual mathematics, and what we've been taught in school obscures and conceals the real thing.
Mathematics is not particularly about numbers.
Mathematics is the study of patterns. There are interesting patterns in numbers, but also in music, in language, in the structure and function of living things, in the movements of heavenly bodies and in the way we think. There are patterns everywhere.
Human beings are naturally good at mathematics. Despite what some people say, every human being has a "mathematical mind" -- so you do too! Every kind of intelligence is simply facility with patterns; it's a human speciality.
Advanced mathematics concerns the patterns in the patterns. Some people seem to have an ability to leap to this level of mathematics more easily and are considered mathematically gifted. Actually, anyone can operate at this level if they start with concrete patterns and move to more abstract levels gradually, as their intuition develops.
Mathematics teachers usually teach mathematical methods and abstractions in a manner that is devoid of context and is so contrary to how the human mind works that for most students development of much mathematical intuition is inhibited. This bad teaching can go so far as to create an aversion in the student, called "mathophobia" leading to the mind going blank and refusing to cooperate when presented with the mathematical symbols with which they've been humiliated.
Doing advanced mathematics is an intensely pleasurable form of play that leads the doer to feel tremendous power and satisfaction. Conventional schools are generally opposed to things like that.
It would be good to have some more clues towards learning mathematics here with some useful references.